Soul Pair

Budget Planning for Marriages:

Budget Planning for Marriages:

Budget Planning for Marriages or wedding or Indian Shaadi is the most interesting part with preparation of checklist, planning and calculations. However this could also be tricky part and at times can be unpleasant which you have to first after wedding confirmation. You need to decide how much you can spend on the wedding. It is most important to decide how much you can spend in wedding and both parties should agree upon that. Also, it should be finalized that who will spend how much and for what all things. There are many ways to save on money in wedding, look out for them.

Below is the sample list for budget. Put it down as minimum and maximum cost.

Engagement Function

Accommodation for Outstation Guest

Jewelry

Outfit for Bride/Groom

Wedding and Reception Venue

Food for guest before wedding

Food on the day of wedding

Flowers

Decorations

Transportation for Guest

Stationary like Invitation cards, postage etc

DJ, Music Band, Horse/Car for Barat etc

Photos and Videos

Panditji/Preist, Pooja materials etc

Other

Checklist for Marriages

Checklist for Marriages or wedding or Indian Shaadi is very interesting part with all planning and calculations.

Wedding is the most important function in anybody’s life and especially in India it gets even bigger. At times, it becomes difficult to manage things and many of them panic at the start. If you are looking for some memorable wedding, you should plan the things well in advance. Hope below tips will help you.

We have divided the task as per the time:

Things need to be done just after marriage is fixed:

Things need to be done 2 months in advance

Things need to be done 1 Month in advance

Things need to be done 1 Week in advance

Things need to be done 1 day in advance

Things need to be done just after marriage is fixed: The real planning start at this stage and the scale of the wedding is decided.

Decide the Budget of your wedding

Decide number of guest

Decide the number of functions and locations.

Decide a Theme for your wedding if you wish so.

Divide the responsibilities to both sides.

Book the marriage venue and decide the caterer.

Things need to be done 2 months in advance:

Book a photographer and video man.

Book an accommodation for guests coming from outside.

Do reservation of tickets for outstation travel.

Decide on the decoration requirements like flowers, lighting, statues, etc.

Make arrangements for music for Sangeet/Barat.

Book a horse/car for Barat.

Start purchasing your Jewelry, accessories, wedding and reception outfits, etc.

Book a Panditji.

Get your Invitation card ready.

Finalize your honeymoon plans.

Keep your passport ready.

Finalize the menu and drinks.

Things needs to be done 1 Month in advance:

Start distributing Invitation cards. This might take a while, so good to start early but not too early.

Make sure your outfits and Jewelry are ready.

Make sure you have purchased enough clothes for all the functions; keep 3-4 extra pairs.

Make sure you have the Visa and all the documents including cash/Travelers cheque ready if you are going abroad for honeymoon.

You can also book a luxury hotel room for your first wedding night.

Visit a good dietician; this will help you look smart on the D day.

Confirm the approximate number of guest.

Do the shopping for return gift to guests.

Things need to be done 1 Week in advance:

Confirm all your bookings with venue, caterer, horse/car, accommodation for guest, photographer, Panditji, etc.

Visit all of them personally or assign task to each member of your family.

Do a dress rehearsal for all the outfits, jewelry, accessories.

Pack your honeymoon suitcase and keep it ready, you will never get time later.

Confirm all your honeymoon bookings.

Prepare separate suitcase for each function. Also your belongings should be kept separate from your immediate family members belongings. Prepare a separate suitcase for them as well.

Make sure your partner have packed his/her bags as well.

Visit your beautician and hair dresser .

Keep few basic medicines like antacid, painkillers ready.

Things need to be done 1 day in advance:

Don’t get panic, things will never be perfect and there will be always some task still pending.

Make sure all the decoration is happing as per plan, drinks and food have arrived, car is cleaned, etc.

Call your beautician and hair dresser at the wedding venue and get some touch-up done.

Go to sleep early.

Just relax and enjoy the occasion.

How to start on marriage

How to start on Marriage, what should I do first, this most crritical question. Lets discuss about Marriage or Indian Shaadi and how to start with.

The very first thing that you need to do is make up your mind that you want to get married and the time frame that you are looking. Ideally the earlier you start the better, but always have at least few months with you. At times you might need to convince your family as well for your marriage. Also be ready with the answers for questions that might come back on you from your family and friends.

Once you are set and done with all the emotional and mental aspect, let’s start on the actual preparation. Here we will look only at the arranged marriages.

The first thing that you will need is Bio-data and couple of recent solo photos. The next thing is to start on the actual search. Here the procedure might change from person to person. One of the option is to let some of the relatives know that you are looking get married. This might sound a bit awkward; however there are ways to convey your message. Some of your aunties may be good source, you just need to give them a hint and they will organize the rest.

The other option is to get registered to some matrimonial website or in some Marriage bureau. These matrimonial websites are mostly free to register and then if you find any suitable match, you need to become a paid member and you can contact them. Marriage bureau works a bit differently where you need to pay first and they will provide you with the profiles, however this is more personalized service so some people prefer it.

The first thing you will be asked while registration is your profile, so be ready with the one. This is different from your Bio-data as it is more descriptive. There are few other options as well like giving advertisement in news paper, though this should be consider later on.

It is just not enough to get a decent photo or create a good profile; you will need some personal grooming as well. First go to a good parlor and get a decent hair cut and some facial grooming. This applies to both guys and girls. The second thing you will need is nice pair of cloths, required when you have personal meetings. These all things might sound rubbish at times, but remember that this is the most important time when you need to look good.

Next be ready with the answers of some common questions that might be asked during your meetings. Always speak what your heart says, but you can definitely work on the way you speak.
There are few other things that you need to take care like changes in your house interiors, etc. but we can’t discuss all the things. So enjoy the search and all the best

Some Marriage Jokes # 2

Did you know why one's native language is called ‘mother tongue’?
'Because father hardly gets opportunity to speak’

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Some Marriage Jokes # 1

In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.

If your wife laughs at your joke, it means you either have a good joke, or a good wife.

My wife and I have a secret to making a marriage last.Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food....She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

She: I don't think I'd marry the best man on earth.
He: If you marry me you wouldn't be taking that risk.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Why I should get married

This should have been the very first article of my blogs, but better late than never. Most of the parents are asked (rather bombarded) with this question whenever they speak to their kids on marriage. This especially happens with guys in their 20’s and parents feel that this is the right age for them to get married (don’t know why they call it as “time to get settle”).

The answer is very simple, rather a reverse question that what is harm in getting married. I agree there are more responsibility to carry and then only me factor is gone. But think realistically, do you want to really stay alone for your whole life, not many people can. At some stage of your life you need someone to share your sorrows and happiness. You need someone who can listen to your idea and thoughts.

Forget about the S** factor, that is very obvious, do you think you can stay without people around you. Parents are there, but for how much time. There will be always few things that you cannot share with your parents and family, after all a big generation gap is there.

Some people are ready to have live in relationship. I personally feel that is specialized form of marriages. You do all the things that you do in Marriages, except for making it legal. People often say that way they are free to leave their partner whenever they feel so, but how can you start a relationship with such a negative feeling.

The very first reason is your parents and society wish. It’s your duty to give something back to your parents who have given their whole life for you. If there is an institution for marriages and they exist for thousands of years, there must be something good in that.

In many western countries, people don’t marry during younger days in the name of freedom. If you look at matrimonial ads in newspapers in those countries, pages are full of older people wanting to get married. You need someone to support you and be with you during your older days. However, it’s difficult to find a right partner that time.

If you think positively by marrying you get a good friend for life, with whom you can have fun all the time. Obviously there will be someone to question you, but there will also be someone who can correct you if you are going wrong somewhere.

Think wisely and make a right decision and hopefully positive. You always need a good friend in your life and why it can’t be your husband or wife. Give it chance and 99% it will work. If doesn’t work, unlike others at least you tried and gave your 100%.

Examples of Marriage Profile for Guys

Below are few examples of writing marriage profile for guys. Make use of these words and make your profile more interesting; you just need to change details accordingly

Example1:

I am honest, caring, intelligent, hardworking, and ambitious. I have a great sense of humor. I am a post-graduate with MBA from one of the premier Indian institute and work as a Project Lead in one of the top Finance company. I am passionate about traveling, watching movies and enjoy great chats.

We are open minded yet respect Indian traditions and would like to have partner who can stand with me throughout my life in my good and bad times. We are looking for smart, intelligent and educated girl.

Example2:

Name: ABC
Place of birth: Delhi, Time of Birth: 10:00 am
Salary: Rs.800000 pa
Place of work: Mumbai
Education: CA
Father: In service
Mother: Housewife
Brother: BE
Sisters: MBA, Married

Intelligent, well cultured, smart, trustworthy and kind hearted.
She should be caring, understanding, and down to earth. If working, should be able to balance professional and personal life

Examples of Marriage Profile for Girls

Below are few examples of writing marriage profile for girls. Hope this will help you to create better profile; you just need to change details accordingly.

Example 1:

Name: ABC
Place of birth: Delhi, Time of Birth: 10:00 am
Salary: Rs.300000
Place of work: Mumbai
Education: BE in CS from Mumbai University
Father: In service
Mother: Housewife
Brother: CA
Sisters: MBA, Married.

Well mannered, simple, caring, understanding, trustworthy and kind hearted. I am fun loving and down to earth.

He should be caring, loving, humorous, understanding and well educated.

Example 2:

I would describe myself as someone who is intelligent, caring and ambitious with great sense of humor. I have done my MBA from Mumbai University and currently working in top MNC as Finance executive in Mumbai.

My father is a businessman and he stressed on being independent in life. My mother is housewife and has worked hard to give us great values. My Brother, though younger to me studying in 12th, is more of a friend to me.

Example of Shaadi or Marriage Bio-Data

Below are the Basic details that you can use, else download sample templates
If you like any of them or require improvments, please leave your comments

Personal Details:
Name:
Date of Birth/Time/Place:
Religion/Caste/Gotra:
Height/Weight:
Complexion:
Educational Background and any Academic achievements:
Nature of work, if Service then organization Name and Achievements if any:
Annual Income (Optional):
Brief Description and hobbies (Optional):

Immediate Family Details:
Father (Name, Qualification, nature of work)
Mother (Name, Qualification, nature of work/Housewife)
Brother’s (Name, Qualification, nature of work)
Sister’s (Name, Qualification, nature of work)

Contact Details:
Email Id:
Address:
Phone Number (Landline/Mobile):

References (Optional):

Closing Note (Optional):

Here are few Sample templates that I have created:

Ganeshji1
Ganjeshji2
JainTemplate1
Heart
Border
Phere
Plain
Ring

How to speak with a guy on phone for Marriage

Dear All,
Here we will discuss on how to speak with a guy on phone for marriage. To start with never say NO to a guy if he wants to speak to you. Probably he is the right person you are looking for because he is ready to communicate and share equal ideas with you. This is missing most of the time especially in somewhat conservative society.
Before the call, be ready with your phone, if you have mobile better to have hands free. If possible go in a separate room where no one will disturb you. The most difficult task for girls is how to start. It is generally guys who calls and should start, however if he doesn’t, you can do that.
Don’t be too shy to speak or else the whole idea of call will be lost. You can start with speaking on general topics by asking his nature of work, work timings, designation etc. May be to ease out more, you can ask his hobbies, favorite pastime, etc.
Never ask for habits like Alcohol, smoking at very first. Let the guy speak on this own, you will have plenty of time to know about this later. Once you are well versed with conversation, you can ask some important question like does he wants working wife or a housewife. At times you cannot ask direct questions and might need to change your sentence a bit. The other important thing you might need to ask is some details about his family.
It is very important to know carrier goals of a guy. People tend to hesitate to speak directly about their salary, so hold on and may be sometime later you can ask this. Let the guy speak most of the truth else if you ask too many questions to him, then in all likely hoods he might give wrong or inconclusive answers.
Most of the times speak truth to answer all his questions. If you give wrong or inconclusive answers now, it might backfire you later. You may write down few generic questions and answers to it on a piece of paper if you find it difficult to decide on the spot.
It is misconception that guys ask irrelevant questions. It might be irrelevant for you, but can be most important to him. Do not hesitate to answer or ask any question as it is a matter of life long relationship for you. If you like to speak to him then continue, but should not go beyond 60 mins, after that better meeting each other personally or another call.
To conclude, don’t be in hurry and take your own time. He is not the last guy in the world, but if you like him go for it. Try to enjoy this phase, you will cherish this for lifelong.

Have a happy soul mate searching…..

How to speak with Girls on phone for Marriage

Hello All,

Rather than wasting time in introduction, I’ll straight away come to the point. If you are talking first time to girl on phone for marriage, after your call, you should be done with your 60%-70% decision either ways, YES or NO.

First schedule a call well in advance may be a day before and if it’s on mobile, send a SMS. Generally it is the guy’s responsibility to manage the logistics. Be in a good and comfortable position. Find a nice place to seat; the best one is your bedroom. Try avoiding open and public places and be alone at the time of the call. Make sure no one disturbs you during the call. If possible, use hands free on your mobile. This will make your movement free, clear voice and most important you can move your mobile where you have maximum Network coverage.

The most difficult thing is to start the conversation. First thing, you should ask her if she is comfortable talking now. I know after scheduling a call, she has to be ready, but good one to start with. Give a reference, eg; “there were conversation among our family and I thought its better we talk first before going ahead”. When you talk to her, don’t show any attitude; be as simple as you can. Speak in the most comfortable language; it’s not your job interview to only speak in English. Depending on the location, you can either use ‘Aap’ or ‘Tum’ in hindi, never use ‘Tuu’ at fist call.

Never rush to questions like “tell me something about yourself” or “What are your expectations”, these are for later part. May be if she is working then you can ask her about her office timings, weekends etc. may be you can ask her about nature of her job, her usual pastime and hobbies. The intention of this call should be to judge how comfortable you are with that girl and not to know each and every detail of that girl. You will get plenty of time to know that detail (I know even after spending whole life it’s difficult to understand them). Don’t get too excited or too nervous, difficult to achieve that, but try practicing this in front of your boss.

The most obvious question that guys want to ask is if she knows cooking, yes you have every right to ask that. In current scenario not many girls are that confident in cooking because they hardly do any before marriage. If you want to still know the answer try to be more humorous “ahh I forgot to ask you the most typical question, do you know cooking?”

The most important thing about your conversation should be humor. Crack few PJ’s (Not the ant and Elephant ones). Be more energetic in your conversation. Girls like to listen to PJ’s, they might mostly deny that, but that’s the fact. You can even flirt a bit in later part to create more fun, but not too much.

Never use vulgar, rude or offensive language. Be careful not to offend her relatives or her parents. You can ask about her family just to continue conversation. I know most of the guys are least bothered about her family, but good to continue.

Now the lies that you need to tell, at least for the first call. She might ask if you smoke, drink or have any girlfriends. If you are occasional smoker or drinker, never tell the truth. You can always (have to) tell her about this in 2-3 meeting. This is my personal suggestion that many girls take occasional as always and the guy’s definition might be actually only on special occasion. I suggest lying here because this might go against you if the relation doesn’t go through and she might tell this to her parents and in turn to your parents. In our society, still parents don’t know if their son drinks or smoke even after getting lighters and matchsticks time and again from his pocket, they simply ignore it.

Try not to go beyond 60 mins for first call; you can have a next one later. Try to conclude with some concrete next step, may be “you discuss among your family and I’ll discuss among my family”. Never commit on anything on your first call. Speaking to her on phone and meeting her personally is quite different.

To conclude, my suggestion is not to try avoid marriage issue if it goes beyond your control. Once you know that you have to get married soon, leave no stone unturned in getting a right match for you. Try to enjoy this phase and not get depressed. Remember Bus, Train and Girl…..one goes another comes…….

Its real fun and you will cherish it for ever……

Have a happy soul mate searching…..

Am I ready for marriage?

Am I ready for marriage?

This is most debatable topic and debate is just not among peoples, but within you. It is most difficult to say when you are ready for marriage. There is no good time to get married and there is no reason why you should not get married. The decision should not only come from within you, but also depends on other factors like family and society. Getting married is just not adding one more person to your and family’s life, things are more than that.

People often say that they are not yet ready to take the responsibility. Is it really true? I would say that you will never be ready. The most common reason, especially from guys that I have come across is that they are financially not ready to take on the responsibility. Let me tell you, if you think so then you will never be ready in life. Human nature at most times is greedy, you will always want to earn more and more, you will never feel satisfied. Keep a realistic target in mind which should be sufficient for you to live a decent and not luxurious life. Think of people who stay on the street, yet they get married and are happy. I am not telling to be like them, but the point is that money is not the most important factor.

The most important factor for me is are you ready to take on the responsibility of your to be family. You are alone now and later you will need to look after and take care of your partner. This is applicable to both guys and girls. The very factor that you need to share everything of yours with your partner, including your bedroom and your bed makes this discussion more difficult.

Think realistically if you get married after 1 or 2 years down the line, what is the difference going to be. It its more or less same, then it’s the right time now. May be a pen and a piece of paper would help. Think of the things that you are planning to do in next 1-2 years and write it down. Just knock-off the things which are not related with your marriage, whatever left is what you need to think for.

Mostly in our society, we find lot of pressure from family and friends to get married soon. The question that you need to ask yourself is if I need to get married sometime in my life then why not now. At least you will have a good friend to share your happiness and sorrows. You will find a good shoulder to cry on (for both guys and girls).

You cannot take such important decision very quickly. You will need some time; at first it might look like a conspiracy by your family to keep you caged. If guys you are thinking that your family might not accept any new member in your family, then its all rubbish. You will need to take a chance and give them some time to accept her.

Once get married, then there’s no backing up. This is just one way path with no return. Couples often say that their marriage didn’t work out well because they got married too early in their life, a pure nonsense. If you have the right to vote at that age, if you can decide on your countries future, you definitely have enough sense to decide on your own future. The main reason behind their marriage failure is because they didn’t waited for right partner. This is all together a separate discussion topic.

You can write pages and pages on this never ending topic. I would just say that it’s your life, decide it on your own. However take your families wish into consideration. They have given their whole life for you (at least in my case and most of you too, if not you will realize this sometime in your life). Take their valuable advice; they have seen more life than what we have seen. It’s never a harm to take someone’s advice, especially when it’s free and from our own people.

Think wisely and take a right decision. There is every chance that you will get more time to cherish your life the sooner you take positive decision.

How to Create Marriage Profile

Dear All,

We have already discussed on how to create your marriage Bio Data and factors depending on the same. Now we can discuss on creating your profile for putting it on various matrimonial sites. Here comes your real creativity with writing, more of an assertive language.

Write whatever your heart says. Most of the sites have section for details like your community, physical attributes, educational background etc. The place where you need to burn your thinking cells is part where you need to describe yourself, partner expectations and that too in limited words. To start with, I would suggest, complete few formalities like your Qualification details, University, job title, firm name, nature of job, etc. This will help viewer to quickly understand and decide if needs to read further.

The description part can be started with something like “Thanks for visiting to my profile”. This will set the positive tone and will give you the start. Generally, girls write more of an emotional profile and guys prefer it be more filling in with facts. You don’t need to just write what is asked, be more open and at times emotional. Your hobbies, your favorite pastime, your view on life, where do you see yourself in future, may be even your favorite food and place. It should be just true and create the best possible impression to viewer. It should reflect your true personality as close as possible.

I would say try making your profile at once, get it scanned by someone, read it after 1 or 2 days and if required, do the necessary changes. To end with I would just like to say, be very particular in writing your profile because it will be your first impression to your prospective partner and to be relatives. Have a great time making your profile and at times rediscovering the aspect of your self that you might have missed somewhere in life.

Have a happy writing.

How to Create Marriage BioData

Dear All,

Basically there are two kinds of profile you might need. The first one is for sending it to someone; we normally call it as Bio-Data. The second one is if you are planning to place your profile on some of the matrimonial websites.

Creating profile depends on various factors such as the community you belong to, your family background, your location, your family status, your target audience, etc. The profile for person from one community can be totally different from the profile of person from other community. However, the basics of profile still remain the same. The intention of your profile should be to create a best possible impression on the reader and should cover more or less most of the points in very true manner. Your profile should contain all the truth, but there are different ways to present the truth, I call it as “Ethical Marketing”. You don’t lie or hide the facts, but just present it in better way so that reader gets good understating and impression. I know it’s a bit awkward to write all good things about yourself, but you have to do it.

Here we will discuss on writing the Bio-data. It should not be more than 2 pages. It works very similar to your Job resume. As experts say, your 50% job is decided based on your resume and that too within first 90 seconds, it works similar. If your bio-data is good, your 50% work is done.

Start with your full name on top with bold. Put in personal details like your religion, caste, sub caste, gotra, etc. Then comes in your physical attributes like height, complexion, weight or body type. People have their own definition on complexion; I would suggest be more optimistic and if you are confused put the better one. Immediately put in the summary with your educational qualification, your family background and your achievements. This is part where you can be more creative in writing and put in more assertive language. Putting your salary details are optional, better if you put in. Next you need to key in is your immediate family (Father, Mother, siblings) details with their profession. You can have your hobbies and other information section as well.

Adding details of other family members and relatives is again an optional part and mostly depends on the community and society you belong to. I would suggest limiting it to minimum. You can create a good covering letter with maximum 3-4 paragraph. The first paragraph should be reference and initial proposal request. The second one can contain the summary part and the last one concluding for the positive response.

Have a happy writing.

Love marriage Or Arranged marriage

Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage, what should I go for, thats a very tricky question. Lets discuss about types of Marraiges in India and globaly.

Before writing on this topic I thought of doing a research on what others have been written. To my surprise, I found so many articles written about this topic. Some of the articles compared which one is better; some gave the pros and corn of both the systems. I found many articles mentioning the history of arranged marriages in India and for some surprise even in west. As you know the most defining moment in the history was the world war and it had some effect on marriage system as well.

I know this is ongoing debate and personally I am doing this debate right from my school days. So what is the conclusion? Well at the beginning of this article, I have to admit that there is no conclusion on this topic. So what and why are we debating or discussing? I am attempting to think something differently. At times I might loose focus from the topic, but lets have some different prospective to this debate.

Every individual, rather I should say every couple has their own opinion about this. If their love marriage is successful, they will be mostly with that, otherwise the old fashioned arrange marriage always works. Well some of them go to extend of saying that marriages never work, for that we need to have altogether separate discussion.

There are very few people who don’t do love marriages because they are against it. They simply fall to family or society pressure. When we speak about love marriages and opposition from parents, we normally associate it with Inter caste or Inter religion marriages. There can be differences other than this like education, family status or some filmy family fighting. If there are no differences and both the families agree, should we call this as an Love marriage, well I am not sure you can decide.

Does arrange marriages happen only because one has not found true (?) love or falling to family and society pressure. Is there something more than this? I am deliberately keeping this questions open. I personally have very strong views on this and I feel most of the time it is either of the two situation leading arrange marriages. I am not at all against arrange marriages and I feel it’s a very good institution, but the point here is cause of arrange marriages.

I have meet some of the people who always wanted to do love marriage, they did it and are very successful. I don’t need to mention other majority of people who did arranged marriage and again are successful. There are examples in either case who failed as well.

So what is the conclusion? As I said at the beginning, there is no conclusion and no best fit formula for this. I will suggest if you love someone and are thinking of marrying, just give a second thought. If you still feel, you can stay with that person for your whole life, just go for it. One more point to be considered here is your family ever going to accept that person. You never know, things might change with time.

People always argue that in arranged marriages it’s hard to judge a person after meeting for just few time. Here again I strongly disagree and would like to ask that can you judge a person in a year or two as well. Even after meeting each other so many times why do love marriages fail then? Yes I agree that to know a person for longer time helps, but to what extend? Anther point that people often say about adjustments to be done in arranged marriages. You agree or not, we have to do adjustments throughout our life. At least in arrange marriages we go with the mindset that we have to do it anyhow.

This was my view on both the forms of marriages and there can be other views as well. I completely respect views expressed by both the parties. Just like to end by saying that whatever you choose, the final aim should be to have a successful married life.