Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage, what should I go for, thats a very tricky question. Lets discuss about types of Marraiges in India and globaly.
Before writing on this topic I thought of doing a research on what others have been written. To my surprise, I found so many articles written about this topic. Some of the articles compared which one is better; some gave the pros and corn of both the systems. I found many articles mentioning the history of arranged marriages in India and for some surprise even in west. As you know the most defining moment in the history was the world war and it had some effect on marriage system as well.
I know this is ongoing debate and personally I am doing this debate right from my school days. So what is the conclusion? Well at the beginning of this article, I have to admit that there is no conclusion on this topic. So what and why are we debating or discussing? I am attempting to think something differently. At times I might loose focus from the topic, but lets have some different prospective to this debate.
Every individual, rather I should say every couple has their own opinion about this. If their love marriage is successful, they will be mostly with that, otherwise the old fashioned arrange marriage always works. Well some of them go to extend of saying that marriages never work, for that we need to have altogether separate discussion.
There are very few people who don’t do love marriages because they are against it. They simply fall to family or society pressure. When we speak about love marriages and opposition from parents, we normally associate it with Inter caste or Inter religion marriages. There can be differences other than this like education, family status or some filmy family fighting. If there are no differences and both the families agree, should we call this as an Love marriage, well I am not sure you can decide.
Does arrange marriages happen only because one has not found true (?) love or falling to family and society pressure. Is there something more than this? I am deliberately keeping this questions open. I personally have very strong views on this and I feel most of the time it is either of the two situation leading arrange marriages. I am not at all against arrange marriages and I feel it’s a very good institution, but the point here is cause of arrange marriages.
I have meet some of the people who always wanted to do love marriage, they did it and are very successful. I don’t need to mention other majority of people who did arranged marriage and again are successful. There are examples in either case who failed as well.
So what is the conclusion? As I said at the beginning, there is no conclusion and no best fit formula for this. I will suggest if you love someone and are thinking of marrying, just give a second thought. If you still feel, you can stay with that person for your whole life, just go for it. One more point to be considered here is your family ever going to accept that person. You never know, things might change with time.
People always argue that in arranged marriages it’s hard to judge a person after meeting for just few time. Here again I strongly disagree and would like to ask that can you judge a person in a year or two as well. Even after meeting each other so many times why do love marriages fail then? Yes I agree that to know a person for longer time helps, but to what extend? Anther point that people often say about adjustments to be done in arranged marriages. You agree or not, we have to do adjustments throughout our life. At least in arrange marriages we go with the mindset that we have to do it anyhow.
This was my view on both the forms of marriages and there can be other views as well. I completely respect views expressed by both the parties. Just like to end by saying that whatever you choose, the final aim should be to have a successful married life.
Before writing on this topic I thought of doing a research on what others have been written. To my surprise, I found so many articles written about this topic. Some of the articles compared which one is better; some gave the pros and corn of both the systems. I found many articles mentioning the history of arranged marriages in India and for some surprise even in west. As you know the most defining moment in the history was the world war and it had some effect on marriage system as well.
I know this is ongoing debate and personally I am doing this debate right from my school days. So what is the conclusion? Well at the beginning of this article, I have to admit that there is no conclusion on this topic. So what and why are we debating or discussing? I am attempting to think something differently. At times I might loose focus from the topic, but lets have some different prospective to this debate.
Every individual, rather I should say every couple has their own opinion about this. If their love marriage is successful, they will be mostly with that, otherwise the old fashioned arrange marriage always works. Well some of them go to extend of saying that marriages never work, for that we need to have altogether separate discussion.
There are very few people who don’t do love marriages because they are against it. They simply fall to family or society pressure. When we speak about love marriages and opposition from parents, we normally associate it with Inter caste or Inter religion marriages. There can be differences other than this like education, family status or some filmy family fighting. If there are no differences and both the families agree, should we call this as an Love marriage, well I am not sure you can decide.
Does arrange marriages happen only because one has not found true (?) love or falling to family and society pressure. Is there something more than this? I am deliberately keeping this questions open. I personally have very strong views on this and I feel most of the time it is either of the two situation leading arrange marriages. I am not at all against arrange marriages and I feel it’s a very good institution, but the point here is cause of arrange marriages.
I have meet some of the people who always wanted to do love marriage, they did it and are very successful. I don’t need to mention other majority of people who did arranged marriage and again are successful. There are examples in either case who failed as well.
So what is the conclusion? As I said at the beginning, there is no conclusion and no best fit formula for this. I will suggest if you love someone and are thinking of marrying, just give a second thought. If you still feel, you can stay with that person for your whole life, just go for it. One more point to be considered here is your family ever going to accept that person. You never know, things might change with time.
People always argue that in arranged marriages it’s hard to judge a person after meeting for just few time. Here again I strongly disagree and would like to ask that can you judge a person in a year or two as well. Even after meeting each other so many times why do love marriages fail then? Yes I agree that to know a person for longer time helps, but to what extend? Anther point that people often say about adjustments to be done in arranged marriages. You agree or not, we have to do adjustments throughout our life. At least in arrange marriages we go with the mindset that we have to do it anyhow.
This was my view on both the forms of marriages and there can be other views as well. I completely respect views expressed by both the parties. Just like to end by saying that whatever you choose, the final aim should be to have a successful married life.
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